Excerpt for Free to be with Me
I was running late again. "Madison, wait," Marc said firmly.
"I am sorry Marc, I have to go. I am already late." Marc's lips tightened together and I knew he was not impressed. What could I do? I ran over and gave him a peck on the lips, then rushed out the door.
"Late again," Raulf eye-rolled me as I entered the fashion department doors. I gave Raulf an apologetic smile and rushed passed over to my working space.
"Floral, darling. This is what I want for the collection." Gerald, the ultimate fashion designer in Australia and renowned for his elegance and class around the world, shares with me his creative mind. I took my blackberry out from my purse and noted his thoughts down. "Low, elegant yet a soft flowy dress. A long diamond opening at the front to highlight the woman's cleavage. A high back with a gathering on either side of the hips, with the length coming to mid-calf and little ruffles at the hem and at the end of the sleeves." Gerald walked around the space. "Brilliant," he said at his own creation. I smiled. I loved working under Gerald's artistic influence.
"Fabric colour needs to be warm, such as rosy pink ... hmm, wait." I watched as he let his creative vision take over. “A light green, not lime,” he added pointedly. “With pale pink and purple flower petals. Pick up a metre of white satin ribbon as well, which I might include.” I waited a moment to see if he wanted anything else. Then he walked out of the building to do whatever a creative god does during the day. I waited a few moments then walked out too.
"Do not forget the white satin ribbon darling," said Raulf. I loved my job, everything felt so alive and fresh. I guessed it was rather different than a rigid office job. I did what I loved. I shopped for the fabrics Gerald sought. I enjoy the freedom in my day, rather than rushing around from meeting to meeting. I am inspired by the fashion genius who I get to witness his true form every day. Life is pretty good.
I found a few samples of fabrics of which I hoped Gerald would fall in love with. I also gathered samples of thread, buttons and zips that matched the fabrics chosen. Gerald liked choice. As long as what was chosen matched as close as possible to his vision. Luckily over the past three years I had been able to work to Gerald's taste. I understand the types of fabric he liked to work with and what he would throw in the bin if he loathed it.
After my wonderful day I arrived home. I opened the door and immediately felt a shift of negative energy. Something has happened but I am unsure what. "Marc," I yelled out. I looked around my apartment. Everything looked the same. Yet I cannot shake the feeling that something is missing. I entered my bedroom to see if Marc was in the shower. I walked in, but he was not there. This was strange as he was always home before me. I changed out of my work attire when I saw a note on my dutches.
I opened the note and quickly folded it. No. I could not believe it. I read it again. I laid on my bed and looked up to the ceiling to try and recapture what happened. Marc wanted to tell me something this morning. I guess now it could not wait. His new girlfriend Rosalie was much more organised and perfect for him. He used the words, that I was, 'unmanageable and not-wife material.' How could this be? Shattered, I cried myself to sleep. I woke up in the middle of the night. Still dressed in my work clothes, my face a mess and a sore heart that I wondered if it would ever get healed. I turned on my bed side lamp light and reached for my phone. Eight missed calls. Half expecting it was Marc, I looked at the screen and saw it was not Marc, but Gerald.
Oh why tonight? Of all nights, why could I not shrink back to my sulking, sad self and climb to bed? There was no point now, I was not tired enough to go back to sleep. I checked my phone log and saw Gerald's last call was made less than twenty minutes ago. I washed my face, changed into something more comfortable and called Gerald. As predicted, he needed me at work four hours ago. So off I went. I walked in and saw Raulf first. “Oh my dear,” he said in shock. “You look.” He could not put a word to it.
“I know,” I said.
“I know it is late but did you check a mirror before you came?” I shrugged and then burst into tears. It was not my finest moment. Raulf passed me his handkerchief and patted me on the shoulder. “There, there,” he said. “Clean yourself up before seeing Gerald. He is having a hard time finding inspiration for his collection for the runway next week.” I nodded and pulled out my pocket mirror to try and touch up my blotchy face as best I could. Obviously though, it was not enough for when I walked near Gerald his mouth opened wide yet no sound escaped.
“I came here as fast as I could,” I said as I tried to hide the humiliation of this moment.
Gerald walked closer to me. His eyes never left mine. "You will be my muse," he said.
"I am sorry," I said, a little lost at his comment.
“The new collection will draw upon your darkness. The raw emotion we shield ourselves from will be on display in what we wear. No longer a fashion statement, now it will be an emotional statement.” I did not know what to think. Was he finally losing it? I half wondered if I should feel flattered by being a muse. He circled me as he drew upon my emotions, to get in sync with his next creation. “Raulf,” he called. “Come here and take notes.” Raulf followed and it calmed me that he did not look horrified to see me as the centre of Gerald's attention.
“The collection will need to show a rawness to it. Part edgy and unparalleled. A straight lined, deep purple coloured silk skirt with a high diagonal front. High waist and deep pockets at the front.” Gerald reached out to hold my hand. "To place your shaking hands." I looked down in unease. “A bronze slinky tank top that uses stretchy fabric at the waist. Because, comfort is what the woman seeks through this time. And the same coloured jacket to match the skirt that they can wrap around their body to feel warm. Topped with purple thick heels to cause pain to anyone who gets in her way.”
I closed my eyes in the hope when they opened, this would all just be a dream and I would really be at home in bed, alone. The thought provided me with no comfort as Gerald whispered, “Open your eyes,” he said soothingly. My eye lids slowly fluttered open. “You are beautiful. I know this is not easy. But you are a strong, independent woman. You will find a way to breathe again.” I smiled at his kind words. How could he read me so well? “Raulf, please give Madison the notes to source tomorrow.” Gerald reached out and held my hands, “thank you for being my muse.” I blushed at the moment.
We all walked out together. I looked at my watch, it was 3am. In three hours I would wake up and begin the working day again. Except there would be no Marc. I sat in my car and looked down at my mobile, which had found its way to my hand. After an interesting evening my emotions and thoughts were scattered and I desperately wanted to hear Marc's voice. My fingers started to dial the well-known number, when I heard a tap on my car window. After an initial scare, I lowered the passenger’s window. It was Gerald.
“Can I jump in?”
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